Category: Joke Board
A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.
It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what
happened to this parrot?" The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a
defective parrot." "Holy shit," the guy replies. "You actually understood
and answered me!" "I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a
highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird." "Oh yeah?", the guy asks,
"Then answer this... How do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"
"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I
wrap my 'willie' around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it
because of my feathers." "Wow" says the guy. "You really can understand and
speak English, can't you?" "Actually, I speak both Spanish and English and
I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics,
religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology.
You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."
The guy looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."
"Passssst" says the parrot...."I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants
me cause I don't have any feet. You probably can get me for $20. Just make
the guy an offer!" The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's
interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes,
and he's insightful. The guy is delighted. One day he comes home from work
and the parrot goes "Pssssssssssst" and motions him over with one wing. "I
don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and
the postman." "What are you talking about?" asks the guy. "When the
postman delivered today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black
nightly and kissed him passionately."
"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?" "Well, then the
postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her
all over," reported the parrot. "My God!" he exclaims. "Then what?" "Then
he lifted up her nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all
over, starting with her breasts and slowly going down ...." "WELL???"
demands the frantic guy. "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
"Damned if I know. I got a.... on and fell off my perch."
uh not sure what to say. lol the parrot was great?